Dalmahoy Dodgers 2009

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in the bunker, we shall fight on the green’s and in the rough, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength with our swing, we shall defend our score, whatever the cost may be. We shall drive on the fairway, we shall pitch on the green, we shall sink the putt do not dolly it, do not charge it, but stroke it in with ease, and in the trenches, we shall fight to wear the green Jacket and as Dodgers; we shall never surrender.

If the great Winston Churchill was only alive today to see what his children have created. It is the year 2009, and the fifth major is just about underway. Wildy after doing the dirty on Tom Watson and his triumph in the Open just down the road at Turnberry he has to be the favourite. Happy he has seven shots to play with but a hard night playing with AP, Bill and the Gang the night before may sap his strength.

Big Bad Ass is now in shape, yes the Mr Blobby shape, but a 69 last week with the Pork Pie means he is ready to defend his crown. Playing off an illegal handicap of 8. He is very dangerous and wants to do the double.

Stu the Power has the Flu. And has also been hanging out with AP on a Monday Afternoon (Sorry Wildy) strengthening his wrists down in the old caddy car sheds. Playing off 12 he could yet be a dark horse.

PorkPie. The drinking machine. Drives like John Daley and past champ and playing off 11 he is the big bandit. If it were all about the booze then he would win every year. Been playing the course several times, and with his great friendship with Monty from his boarding school days. The course suits the bubbly’s of the Dodgers Chairman.

Big Dong. Like Tiger he is always favourite. If he has a sniff on the last day he will probably win it. However a couple too many shandies and he will be away playing his flute with Donald Findlay. At one he is the low man.

Kev the fireman is still on probation. Need’s a couple more forfeits to gain his stripes. Hits a good ball, and with his added fitness may come storming through on the final round. Handicap unknown but should be above 12.

G, the Senior Statesman of the group. A gentlemen, past champion, ambassador for the Jags, holes putts from over 100 yards and probably the only dodger who was alive when Winston Churchill made his great speech above. Always a threat and due another title. Handicap 12.

Alkie Al has unfortunately damaged his shoulder due to taking part in the farmers games at the Fettercairn Show. This has meant no golf since the middle of June and can only pap it on his way round. Doesn’t want to be the wee dog. However as the only dodger to play in all the rounds, and Champion in 2007; would love another title so don’t write him off. Playing off 9, probably needs an extra couple of shots to take the title.

Well its less than 72 hours to kick off, its pissing with rain, probably windy and Dalmahoy is waiting the arrival of the Magnificent 8. May the best man win, and remember your Jacket (Big Bob has the Green).

And I will leave you with the great words of Winston Churchill
’Don’t talk to me about dodgers tradition. It’s nothing but golf, competition and the lash.’

THERE ARE NO LOSERS ONLY DODGERS

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