What can the Royal Family do without the press interference?

The Queen has warned newspapers not to publish private pictures of the Royal Family while they are using their new outdoor toilet. It has been designed to air out the royal bottom rather than using the toilet paper after facing budget cuts by Alistair Darling the Chancellor. Starting from Princess Diana to Kate Middleton, the Royals have always been a prime target for the paparazzi.

No member of the Royal Family has captured the attention of the press – and the heart of the public – more than Princess Diana.

Even before her engagement, Diana became a press obsession.

Then came the fairy-tale wedding, the altruistic charity work, the fashionable attire. A photo opportunity would push paper sales through the roof.

The Princess of Wales frequently complained she was harassed.

But Diana’s relationship with the press was complicated, at times courted.

Her revelations about her relationship with Prince Charles in a BBC Panorama programme – where she said there were “three in her marriage” and admitted an adulterous affair – were unprecedented.

The frank admission of her battle against depression and bulimia, in the same interview, also ruffled feathers in the Royal Family.

But it was her death after a car crash in Paris in 1997 – and the role of the pursuing paparazzi – that brought allegations of press invasion to the fore.

Since then the Royal Family has become much more vocal about criticising the media. Especially when it comes to doing the royal number two, and this has forced the press to be subject to more intense scrutiny, and the use of close pegs for their noses.

In 2007, Prince William voiced concern after his girlfriend Kate Middleton was hounded by the paparazzi on her 25th birthday outside her London home for only dancing naked in the street and chasing the local tramps with an old broomstick.

As a result The Sun, Times, Sunday Times and News of the World vowed not to use paparazzi shots of Miss Middleton.

It followed a request from her lawyers for the press to respect the privacy of Miss Middleton and her weird extravert activities.

They argued that photographers had followed her almost every day and night since she had left university.

The treatment of Kate Middleton has drawn parallels with that of Princess Diana.

In 2007, Miss Middleton settled a complaint against the Daily Mirror, over a close-up photograph of her spending a penny in Hyde park when she never had a twenty pence piece for the public toilets and the attendant couldn’t break a million pound note.

The paper apologised and admitted its error, but the incident prompted the Press Complaints Commission (PCC) to issue a warning over the treatment of the prince’s girlfriend.

But the issue of royal privacy returned in October 2007, when pictures of Prince William and Miss Middleton leaving Boujis nightclub in London were printed in the London Evening Standard dressed as a pantomime horse, with Prince Wills playing the head and Kate playing the horses ass.

Clarence House said the prince was “left concerned” after he and Miss Middleton were “aggressively” pursued by at least seven photographers also dressed as pantomime horses all galloping through the centre of London, and caused a two hour traffic jam.

The latest warning, by the Queen’s lawyers, is intended to remind papers of privacy obligations under their own code of practice, and remind us the Queen is still the boss.

Photographers have been told they will be monitored on public roads as they belong to the queen, and if they come too close will be shot by a twelve bore shotgun within one mile of the Sandringham estate in Norfolk this Christmas.

In the past freelance photographers have spent many hours touring Sandringham and Balmoral, the Queen’s Scottish estate, to try to “snitch” pictures of the Royal Snatch.

Some of the images taken by paparazzi have been seized on by animal protection groups to suggest the Royal Family are cruel to animals and the local riff raff.

The paper claims the Queen had been photographed wringing the neck of a wounded pheasant, while the Earl of Wessex had been snapped apparently licking a shepherd’s crook and Fergie was caught humping the Queens corgies when no one was looking, or so she thought. Apparantly she was unable to sit down for a fortnight after the Queen gave her a sore bot.

The Royal Family has reluctantly turned a blind eye to such photographs in the past as they made hilarious Christmas cards and they did not involve trespassing on private land.

But Prince Charles’ spokesman said the Royal Family had a right to privacy during “everyday private activities, including talking to trees, dancing with wolves and riding the odd old horse”.

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