UK Election Fever – Things you never knew about Gordon ‘Gogsie Broon’ Brown

The UK is now gripped with Election Fever.  Over the next few weeks the Pigeon Project will reveal some information about the Party leaders that you may not know?  Starting off with the current PM and Labour Leader – Gordon ‘Gogsie’ Broon

James Gordon Brown, was born 20 February 1951 in a small woods out side Kirkcaldy in the Kingdom of Fife. 

The old saying of ‘You can always tell a fifer but you cannae tell them much!’ has never been more appropriate to anyone, than it is to the current Prime Minister.

Raised by Scottish Wombles, furry creatures that live in burrows, who helped the environment by collecting and recycling rubbish in useful and ingenious ways.  It was a happy Childhood but by the age of 12 Gogs Broon wanted more for himself and his Womble Family.  Gogs Broon decided to create a Womble Government and positioned himself as the Chancellor of the Wombles, and developed some new policies to increase the wealth of his Womble Family by changing their philosophy of recycling every day junk to creating giant land-fills for the junk.  At first he faced a number of Womble Anti Establishment Marches against his new policies, but once he bought Great Uncle Bulgaria a new JCB Digger, Static Caravan and an electronic back scratcher – Gogs got his own way.   This is when Gogs realized he was able to bribe people to get what he wants and able to stare adversary in the face.

At the age of 16 he was ready to move on and Gogs attended Edinburgh University where he completed a PhD in History which helped him get the Job as the guy who turned the weather board for famous weatherman Ian McCaskill.  It was a good job at the BBC, and this is when he realized he liked to wear Black Stockings and Suspenders and take it straight up the Hooper.

It was at this point in his life he realized there must be a profession out there for him.  He liked power, weird sex games, corruption and bribery.  There was only one place Gogs could go?  Politics and the House of Commons!

The rest is history after rising to Shadow Chancellor, Labour were voted into Government, and Gogs spent 10 years bonking Men, Women, Sheep and other farm animals.  He worked under Tony Blair from 1997 to 2007.  In 2007 Gogs no longer wanted to be the receiver and wanted to be the giver, he masterminded a political coo and took his favourite Darling with him. 

Gogs was now King of the Castle, he has tried to introduce Policies like ‘Couldn’t we sponsor Bros not to get back together? And ‘Compulsory listening of Arctic Monkeys for every breakfast’

Vote for Gogsie Broon, his main policy is ‘Better the Devil’ You Know!


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Filed under Abou Ali, Politics

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